metalmagicfreak

Another night of being alone with blood running down my arm. I'm tired of being left alone while he gets to have a normal life without a thought about me. Why do I even bother? If ending my life wasn't so messy I would have done it long ago.

I feel so hopeless. I can't eat because I don't have any money. I can't go anywhere because I don't have the gas and I don't have the money to buy any. I can't even take a walk without fear of some nut in my town hurting me. There is no fishing either since I don't have the money for a license and I can't chance getting caught by the Game Warden. I stare at the wall for hours and think of nothing. I do not see or hear anything around me. I am comatose and would be happy to stay in bed. I don't feel like eating or showering. I don't even feel like hurting myself because that would take too much effort. I feel like I am failing everyone and tha

I can not express my joy over how my life has took a turn for the better. I have the chance to pursue my education and I have a one of the best boyfriends that I could have ever asked for. I am truly blessed to have my life in such a wonderful place right now. There has been many hardships from the death of my mother when I was 12 to my father almost passing away my senior year of high school to my suicide attempt when I was 13 but I came through it all with the help of my Savior and now I have reached a stage of my life where I have found happiness that I have not had since I lost my mother suddenly. I hope to have this happiness in my life